Week 7 of 2019

It was a difficult week.

I lost the only boy I truly loved. I was clinging to that last bit of hope but to no avail. Other than that, I may lose my job (of which I’ve been harping on about in my previous posts) due to a technicality issue in my passport.

No, nothing else. I’m overwhelmed and a complete emotional wreck right now.

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Week 6 of 2019

Shopping, and lots of it. I’m just saying to myself that this is all totally worth it because I’m moving to a new country, and this will help in the long run. Or maybe just as I’m starting.

Of course, the hustling and bustling is helping in a way, keeping my mind occupied but yeah, the heart still bleeds and the mind tries to wander, but it’s going to be fine, and I know it’s time to stop chasing. I’ve tried for so long and I’ve learned. No, I’m not going to say I failed because I didn’t. I gave it all I have and I know, I made a difference in whatever little way. Nevertheless, it’s time to move on.

The best thing that happened, though, is I met my friend, and we had an amazing evening, reminiscing about our lives and believing that it’ll only get better from here on.

On that note, cheers to life.

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Book 3 of 2019

Name: A Game of Thrones
Author: George R.R. Martin
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 803
Publisher: Harper Voyager
My rating: 5/5

Now, I thought I was reading this book (and subsequently, the series) a little late in life but whatever, I’m hooked. I didn’t expect to be awed and all that because, obviously, I’m an adult. But, I am by this book. I’m so glad I got to read this in my lifetime. So glad.

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Week 5 of 2019

I am an over-thinker, and the more my mind is occupied, it works for me. My work and, more recently, the Ph.D. viva stress kept me occupied. My mind did not wander much; these remained my focus.

This week, though, marked my last working day. I leave behind an organization, more specifically its eLearning vertical, where I met some amazing people and made friends for ever. A place that taught me new skills such as working on animations and accessible PPTs, and I’m grateful.

I also caught up with a few friends, who’ve stuck through the best and the worst. We tried new eating joints serving South Indian food to one serving Gujarati and Rajasthani food. I don’t know when I’m going to meet these people again but I’m surely grateful for their presence in my life.

Finally, and importantly, the shopping has begun. The time for a new career in a new country is on my threshold. Till that happens, though, the heartbreak seems to have come fresh again. That, too, I hope, will pass.

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Week 4 of 2019

Of course, the highlight of this week is that I got done with my Ph.D. So, yay! Other than that, I finished reading a wonderful book, Becoming by Michelle Obama. Also, I started reading A Game of Thrones. You’ll think I’m reading it too late in life? I’m 32!

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Book 2 of 2019

Name: Becoming

Author: Michelle Obama

Genre: Memoir

Pages: 426

Publisher: Viking, an imprint of Penguin Books

My rating: 5/5

From her Balenciaga boots to her book, Becoming, the former First Lady continues to impress. She has written this book with grace and humility. Her journey sure is inspiring. To put it simply, Becoming is an excellent read.

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Ph.D.: Not Just A Degree, It’s A (Torturous) Way of Life – Part 7

So, I’m back with the last in the Ph.D. series, and, yes, I’m writing this post as Dr. Sandy Chris. It’s done! Yaas! Ah, but. Of course, there is a but. You think I got that tag just like that? Nah! Don’t believe me? Well, look at what I’d to do to be Dr. Sandy Chris.

The point is, as a Ph.D. student of this University, my job was done (apparently) with the submission of my thesis. And, nothing really happened for 13 months after that on this front. Other than the fact that I couldn’t really plan anything else. It was as if I was stuck at some stop signal in the Ph.D. journey.

But then, the lights turned, oh I don’t know, some shade of green must be ’cause I get the news that my viva may happen anytime soon, as early, in fact, as the first week of January 2019. Can you believe it? And there I’m, stumped, not expecting it. At least, not like that!

Ok, still ok. But, what about the fact that my guide is not around? I mean, in the country? Ah, but she’d already thought about this, and decided to hand over the reins of my life, I mean, Ph.D. into the hands of another teacher. Well, that’s fine, too! Like, I should be happy, isn’t it? And somewhere, yes, I was but that happiness came at an immense cost that included a deterioration of my mental health; digestive system gone for a complete toss because, obviously, who’s even hungry when your life is hanging there precariously, and zero value to my time (imagine running to and fro from work to the two University campuses! Hell!)

Running around from pole to pole became a mainstay as the (so-called) countdown to my Ph.D. viva was underway. Emotions and stress were running high. But that news came eventually, “Your viva is going to be held on Wednesday, January 23, 2019 at 12 noon IST!” OK, then. There’s that confirmation. Now, at this point, ideally, I should be focussed only on preparing for my big day. You know,the presentation, and so on. But, this is where I got jumbled in the “bureaucratic mess,” and, believe me, it was messy alright further adding to the stress.

And so, though, I did get my Ph.D., it came at a cost! A very heavy cost, indeed! So, yeah, it was a torturous way of life for almost four years of my adult life. In the end, I didn’t want to jump for joy or run around shouting to the world that it was done; it was just plain relief. A part of my life was over and done with for good . . .

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